Let’s start at the beginning of my keto journey. I can remember a moment when I was about 270lbs and cried on the floor, thinking I would literally sell my soul if I could just be physically healthy, able, visually appealing… I felt so trapped in my body. That pain started a fire within me. A burning desire to turn this body into the best version it may be. From June 2019-August 2020 I lost an entire person in body weight. About 100lbs. I did this mainly by way of a strict, clean, keto nutrition plan. I will NOT ever call it a diet. This was a temporary shift of lifestyle to achieve a desired physical result. Oh boy, did I get the results I wanted.
Flash forward to May of 2022. Shuffle in a physical move, spiritual breakdown, major stress and a sprained ankle, and I’ve put on maybe 30lbs or so? Lots of muscle too – don’t get it twisted, I can move heavier weights than ever before. Yet I find myself in the midst of a hormonal shitstorm. Let’s talk the nitty gritty. It’s excess hair growth – and not in the places where you want it. It’s hormonal acne. It’s low energy levels and general feeling of imbalance. Why? Because I came out of balance! I worked myself to the breaking point – literally – and cue the sprained ankle. Suddenly I had to strip back doing some of the things I love, because I was not physically well enough to do them. THIS was the waving red flag in my face; FULL FUCKING STOP.
In this moment of pause, I realized that what had served me in the past for my massive weight loss is not meant to serve me now. I cannot return to what worked before, because the things I am challenged with NOW are different than they were then. How often do we slip into that “it worked before, so I can certainly make it happen again” pattern, instead of staying present with the challenge at hand? Presence is a whole other issue. Let’s stick to the physical today.
In my desire to stay “present” to the issues at-hand, I listed out some of the things that are still TRUE for me;
- My brain feels better when my intake consists of lower carbs. Ketones have proven effective to support my mental clarity.
- I like caffeine too much. Periodt.
- I am uncomfortable with calling myself an athlete and therefore am challenged also with fueling myself like one.
- I still shuffle in and out of disordered eating tendencies. My awareness of this enables me to bounce back faster and “catch it” sooner so I can make better choices.
- I am just now feeling the need for my body to have a cyclical fueling and training schedule that goes along with my natural rhythms.
I also am considering my current desired outcomes;
- Balanced hormones
- A training cycle that considers my hormonal cycles
- Balance in my nutrition
What does all that mean? It means that just strict clean keto and intermittent fasting are not going to meet the desired outcomes. All this led me to ask myself “Well what is next then? How can you learn to do these things for yourself?” The answer came to me by way of The Funktional Nutritionist, Erin Holt’s program; The Carb Compatibility Project. For me, this seemed to connect all the dots of where I am now to where I am seeking to go. I believe registration is still open, so check out her page if you want in. I’ll be documenting this next phase of my journey. Using myself as my own wellness experiment. Here’s to the next step on this journey to being my best self.
AJ Butler Wellness 